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Chickie’s stats and details

Thank you for your congrats last night everyone! Amelia, who will be known here as Chickie, is doing wonderfully, and so is Mama.

Chickie was born at home as planned, at 7:28pm, after about three weeks of prodromal labor and only three and a half hours of active labor. Three pushes and this big girl wanted out!

Chickie weighed 9lbs 14oz, beating big brother Pal by 5oz, although her chest was a bit smaller. (thank God!) She is 20″ long.

Although I would never call birth easy, her’s was absolutely beautiful. Being a record-breaking warm day for March, we spent a great deal of time outside, and much of my day prior to the birth was spent watching my older children play in their puddle jumpers outdoors. It was all just so right.

We are having trouble uploading pics from the phone, will work on that, and after some journaling I will eventually post her birth story, but I did want to share with all of you who have been praying for us and offered us your blessings, that Chickie is healthy, nursing well, and I am feeling great. God is good!

Mama

Our new baby girl

Welcome to this world Chickie

Girlie gives me a prenatal

Each time our midwife comes for a visit, Girlie watches her every move very carefully. She glances over at Susi to watch her expressions, and then turns to me to see my reactions. She asks questions about each part of the checkup, and role plays “being Susi” when she leaves.

When shopping one evening I stumbled upon a favorite childhood toy that I knew would be perfect for her – a medical kit, which would do well as a midwife’s equipment. Girlie quickly decided to purchase the kit with some of her saved money, and it has since become a favorite toy of her own.

Girlie regularly asks me if she can listen to the baby’s heart beat, and proceeds to pull out her stethoscope, blood pressure cuff, thermometer, my measuring tape, and in her three-year-old mind becomes Susi.

The aspiring midwife in me couldn’t be prouder!

P.S. Pal celebrated his 2^nd birthday yesterday! I plan to share all about it (and him!) when I come back from my babymoon in April.

The Home Visit

When you read this I will be one day shy of 37 weeks pregnant. We just had our home visit with the whole birth team and now I will be meeting with my primary midwife each week until Chap/Chickie is born.

At the home visit we had our midwife team, my mom, Papa, our kids, and me at the homestead. I had my usual prenatal and then we went over our stash of birth supplies and what to expect from each other during the birth. This is our third home birth (4^th home visit since I didn’t transfer my care with Buddy until 38 weeks) so the meeting wasn’t anything new, but there were a few new topics that came up since this will be our first birth in a camper; like space, heat, water, and the driveway.

I know better than to plan how my birth will go, but we did discuss how I want to be more active during this birth, possibly even catching the baby. I wanted to with my other kids, but at the end I always ditch my ideal and just want to get it over with. This time my midwives (new ones for me) are going to do everything they can to help me take charge so I can have the memory I am hoping for.

We have just about all the things we need, only a couple minor things left on the list, and we buy one or two things a week to spread out the expense. At this point we would be ready any time though, which is good because, even though I also know better than to say this, I have a feeling I’m not going to make it to my due date (first day of Spring!) watch me go right past it.

I have a history of prodromal labor; regular contractions getting more and more intense in the days and weeks leading up to the start of active labor, when I’ve already dilated to 4-5cm and then the baby is born a few hours later. I started noticing a change in my Braxton Hicks at 35 weeks this time, and increasingly so at 36 weeks, which means either I’ll be exhausted by 40 weeks or this baby is coming sooner. Whatever the case, I have no intention of “speeding things along”. Been there, done that, never doing it again. ‘Nuff said.

Chap/Chickie is doing well. Kicking and stretching all the time, and in a good position. My midwife says he/she is middle of the line average for size, but of course, the time of the birth will influence the size of the baby. Unlikely I’ll have another 9½ pounder though. Not that I mind!

As time goes on it is getting easier and easier to imagine what this little person looks like. The skinny little feet, the perfectly formed hands, that bum that doesn’t quite fit diapers very well, the hidden neck, and beautiful little eyes, nose, mouth, and ears. Pretty soon I’ll be snuggling with that sweet smelling bundle and treasuring those special moments while they last.

answering my question

Am I a good mom? Can I be a good mom to four kids? I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about this lately, pondering that one question I needed an answer to before I can give birth. Sharing my thoughts with you feels awkward but I’m pretty sure I’m not the only woman who has questioned her ability to parent.

In fact, in my search for answers, I’ve become more curious about the lives of other moms of more than three kids. What can I learn from them to encourage me to take this leap with courage, even though I know I won’t have it all figured out?

People say that after child number three it’s all about the same. That numbers four, five, and six do not drastically change your lifestyle or make life more chaotic. Because, let’s face it, having three kids can make life a bit crazy some days! And yet, despite this reassurance, and despite the fact that I have God to support me, and that I love my children dearly, I still doubt myself.

I’ve been having difficulty disciplining my kids, because it seems that no method works effectively and many days of late have put me in survival mode. How am I supposed to mother another child well? Will God really give me enough peace of mind, patience, and wisdom to raise them?

Okay, so I’m definitely making myself vulnerable here. I do hope you know that I am very proud of each of my children, I love them desperately, and I’m so glad God has chosen me to be their mother. But parenting… motherhood… is hard, and I don’t always feel adequate for the job.

So I have asked myself, what is it that I’m really afraid of? Life is messy, but we love each other, so what is the big deal about this baby? While reading about the transition to parenthood in Birthing From Within by Pam England, it hit me – I’m afraid of losing control – of being outnumbered four to one, and feeling like I’m not in charge – of being overwhelmed by multiple developing characters and personalities, and not being able to maintain order.

Your successful evolution to parenthood depends largely on your accommodation to the vast changes which are unfolding beyond your control. Learning to accept loss of control is an integral part of both birth and motherhood/fatherhood. ~ Pam England

(She is of course talking about losing control over things that are okay not to have control over) But that is what new parents are supposed to be afraid of, not mothers of three, right? Perhaps, I’ve thought, my firm grasp of what that loss of control is like is why I have had a harder time coming to terms with my motherhood now.

In my more rational moments, I set aside my fears and look at the basic facts – I am human, I am not perfect, I love my kids, I do the best I know how for today, and I am still growing as a woman and mom which means tomorrow is a new day and I can use the hard lessons of today to be a better mom tomorrow.

I’ve also decided to look at the things I love about myself as mother. What makes me feel confident in my role? What do I do that makes me proud of myself? I don’t want to compare myself to other “good” or “bad” moms, but admitting the good things about myself does give perspective and hope.

One of the activities Pam England encourages is facing your fears – looking your tiger right in the eye and asking, what if it happens? What happens if I do lose control of my home and my kids are beating each other up or disobeying me again? How will I respond? Will the world end? What if I yell or cry in frustration – will I ruin my kids? Being truly honest about what I’m afraid of is helping me to see that I can step outside the situation and not be overwhelmed by it. I can find solutions, and most importantly, it is okay to express my frustrations appropriately. In fact, it’s healthy to do so.

Goodnight, Mother, it’s o.k. You didn’t win a prize for motherhood today, but it’s o.k. You haven’t ruined my development by one bad day. You sure were angry at the world! I learned a few new words (I won’t repeat!) Don’t worry, Mother – I felt your kiss. There’s always a tomorrow – Forgiving and forgetting are easy when I know that I am loved. ~ Ruth Reardon, Listening to the Littlest

What is a good mom anyway? Maybe we all have a different definition. It is good to have high goals, but at the same time, maybe having high expectations is more of a detriment to our self-esteem?

A good mom in my mind is one who is patient, kind, cheerful, and firm. She expects good behavior from her kids and knows how to form it in them. She plays with them, teaches them, but provides quiet time for reflective play and thought. Her home is neat, although not spotless, and she cares for her own needs so she has energy and enthusiasm for her family and life.

Some days I feel like I can see this happening in our family, and other days I feel like crap. I supposed that happens to the best of us! In the end, on the days when I need to restart, several times, I know that the most important thing I can do is love my children, because that is the foundation of motherhood. The rest will fall into place over time.

Do you worry if you’re doing right? So much advice, so many books – I grow so fast! Are you sometimes scared? Things balance out… Too much of this, too little of that. You try too hard, don’t try enough. Too far this way, too far the other. Of course you’ll make mistakes… but love is a great eraser! And things will always balance out because you car. ~ Ruth Reardon, Listening to the Littlest

Am I a good mom? Can I be a good mom to four kids? The answer is yes, but not because I have achieved the title of “perfect mom”, but because I love my kids and I want to keep growing as a mom, working out my motherhood one trial and triumph at a time. I do care how I train my children, and how my life influences them. I want the best for them, and I’ve made sacrifices and lost control over some issues to help them figure themselves out. I’ve dedicated all of my days to them, and I want to learn more about perfecting my role as mom. And those are the reasons I am a good mom, and will be no matter how many kids I am blessed with.

Now, please tell me I’m not the only one whose been here, because this may be the most transparent I’ve been about myself on this blog, and that’s not easy!

baby plans

We gave Pal his first haircut. We’ve been toying with the idea for a while now, but one day we decided to just do it.

To be honest though, even though his hair was becoming unruly (in a cute way), one of my reasons for cutting his hair was quite selfish. You see, I’m beginning to feel that March is just around the corner, and I’m going to have to let my baby grown up a little more when Chap/Chickie becomes a more real part of our family. Cutting Pal’s hair was one way I could visualize letting go of his babyhood and moving on.

I have also begun working my way through Birthing From Within by Pam England again. An excellent book that I used during Girlie’s and possibly Buddy’s pregnancies. As a birth doula and aspiring midwife, it’s difficult to find a book or other resource that will help me to prepare for birth. I know everything that is written in the What to Expect book, or any other pregnancy and birth book intended for parents. Birthing From Within is different because it focuses on the mental, emotional, and spiritual preparations that are unique for every woman and each pregnancy.

The first chapter addresses the one thing every woman needs to know to give birth. Are you curious as to what that is? Hint, hint: they don’t tell you. They can’t because it’s different for every woman, but the author encourages women to dig deep, find their question, and really think about it. The answer will not be found in a pregnancy book, no one can tell them what to do about it; it is a very personal issue that must be worked through on the inside.

While I do have normal concerns about birth, my question, the one that has spent a great deal of time on my mind, is this. Can I be a good mom to four kids? Some days I feel confident and then others I am so doubtful it worries me. I’ll be spending some time working through this one so I’ll be ready when baby comes… as ready as I can be anyway!

Speaking of which, Chap/Chickie is growing well, although smaller so far than my others were. Despite losing a couple pounds with the bug I had a couple weeks ago, I have managed to gain it back. My vitals and iron level are all good, and baby is head down. The other good news coming from my prenatals is that I got my second choice for the assistant midwife, so now I can be confident in who will be present for my birth: Papa, midwives Susi and Lyndsay, and my mom.

Girlie has been requesting to be at the birth more frequently now. I’m not sure if it’s because she wants to be there for the birth or because she likes babies, but I showed her Pal’s birth video to help gauge that last week. I’m open to it, but I don’t want to assume that she is ready. We’ll see.

I don’t need to have my birth supplies ready for another five or six weeks, but I did make my list more readily available so I can add one or two extra things to the grocery list each week. This week it’s one roll of paper towels and one roll of toilet paper.

One of my biggest concerns about the postpartum period is how long Papa can stay home with me. He’s sure he’ll be able to use his one week vacation if he needs to, but I’m nervous about being alone for a while, so I need to start asking family and friends to help me with chores, meals, and childcare soon. I know I’ll manage, but having family around sure makes it easier!

31 weeks down, 7 to 11 left to go.

Here’s a fun game, based on my history as follows, what do you think we’re having?

1. Boy, 8lbs 2oz
2. Girl, 8lbs 8oz
3. Boy, 9lbs 9oz 

an herbal remedy review

Last week I attended my eighth and probably my final herbal remedy party for the season. Not only am I thankful God blessed us with the extra income while we were in limbo between unemployment and the first paycheck, but I am also very excited to report that not only has customer feedback back simply positive, but a couple of my remedies have far surpassed my hopes in their design.

Like I tell my customers, I have no further education in herbal medicine – everything I have learned has been through countless hours of research and experimenting on my family. The trouble is, experimenting on one’s family takes a long time to learn the effectiveness of a time-old remedy’s use in today’s world of over-the-counter meds. So it is very exciting to see volunteers come forward, use my remedies, and give amazing feedback.

This is not a sales pitch, but I do want to tell you about these wonderful herbs because God deserves the credit for designing them.

Many of you know that for a couple of years I have been making a diaper rash cream out of comfrey. I’ve been giving this salve away to friends with babies, and confirmed that it wasn’t just my baby’s bums it could heal (because sometimes I really do wonder if I’m just imagining the miracles this salve works), but that it really is a great alternative to store-bought creams.

This year I added a new salve to my line of products, using not only comfrey, but several othe herbs: Calendula, chamomile, yarrow, lavender, rosemary, valerian, lemon balm, thyme, and echinacea.

My hope was that this remedy could be used to treat minor wounds and replace the need for antibiotic ointment. Then Papa discovered that both salves removed pain from his elbow joints, and I was amazed to discover that the first aid salve was able to remove both joint and nerve pain from my hip (thank you pregnancy!). This really is a universal first aid product!

The second most popular remedy among my customers was the clear mind tincture, which I made from basil, oregano, lemon balm, chamomile, and valerian. This remedy was made for treating various nerve-related symptoms such as insomnia, stress, indigestion, and depression. Some of the herbs have been used historically for increasing memory and energy, but while I did say that was a potential benefit, I was excited to see that it was a quick responding treatment for memory problems! The most incredible story yet came from a customer whose son has tourette syndrome. His meds were not really helping with the tics, so she got permission from his doctor to add my clear mind tincture to his morning routine, and right away the tics were dramatically reduced!

Next year I want to work on new ideas I have, such as a cold and flu treatment for young kids, and comfrey ice pack kits, but with a new baby on the way and sleepless nights ahead, I may instead be devoting much of my herbal time to drying and combining teas. We’ll see. I am happy with how the parties went, and I still hope to start a business in the next couple years, but for now I’ll use the remedies I have and encourage family and friends to use herbs for medicine. They really work!

(if you are a family or friend of mine, I do still have TONS of salves and some tinctures available for sale, email me if you are interested!)

no more delaying baby plans

By the time you read this post I will be 24 weeks pregnant. Our little one is grown enough that many babies have survived being born at this age. An amazing thought. Chickie or Chap is already over a foot long and weighing about a pound. I can feel hiccups, sweeping leg movements, and regular wake/sleep cycles.  

I had another prenatal visit with my midwife last week. Baby is growing well and I continue to be in good health. We can hear his/her heart rate very well with the fetoscope now (in the 140’s!), leaving only twice that we used the doppler, and we probably won’t again until labor when it is more practical to keep an eye on the little guy.

In the meantime, I keep putting off any thoughts of preparation for another baby. This is so different from the first two especially, where I started making a birth plan as soon as I found out I was pregnant. This time I keep thinking, there is so much to do before then, I’ll wait till I’m closer to term. And now all of a sudden I’m almost six months pregnant and finally got around to asking my mom to be there for the birth (she’s been to all of them).

No more delaying plans! This baby is very special to me, and as I feel more and more movement and growth the reality of tiny cheeks, fingers, and bum are becoming more real. I’m beginning to think about the few supplies we’ll need, what I want from my (last?) birth experience, and even scrapbooking the first year.

I expect that by the next time I write about Chickie/Chap, I’ll be ready to share a few particulars about these plans, but as I mentioned before, there is so much to do! I’ve hardly started writing about this in the baby’s journal, not quite ready to type it up for you! I’ll get there… This will be an interesting story after all, especially if we do stay here through the winter and we give birth in a camper!

herbal remedies 2011

We may have closed our online herbal store, but we still have a larger variety of remedies this year to sell locally, and use for our own family. I’m very excited about what I’ve come up with; learning how herbs work and in what combinations they can be used, for so many ailments.

Five years ago I began with comfrey ice packs and each year I have added a few more herbs and preparations, experimenting on my family to see what worked and what didn’t.

This year, in addition to a few single herb teas and tinctures, here are the newest remedies I’ve added to my medicine cabinet.

Nature’s First Aid Salve. This salve is the result of a hope I’ve had for some time to replace pharmaceutical antibiotic cream for minor wounds.

Baby Bum Salve. Last year’s salve did not have calendula, like this year’s version, but everyone I’ve given a tub to now swears by the stuff and won’t put anything else on their baby’s bum. My only frustration with this year’s salve is that while I thought I used the same proportions of oil to beeswax, this year’s did not turn out as creamy. Oh well, it’s not supposed to be a lotion, since it is to be applied as needed for rashes.

I made three different teas using varying combinations of herbs to create woman’s tonic, cold and flu remedy, and asthma relief teas. I did not realize how much dried herb it takes to make tea, so this supply is limited, but I did want to share something really neat that happened when Papa was helping me prepare the asthma tea.

Papa has had trouble with cedar-induced asthma, and his airways haven’t been quite the same since his allergic reaction to the wood. While he was breaking up the herbs, he said he started breathing easier – just inhaling the dust from the herbs breaking down! I was really hoping to create a tea that would help him, and I think I may have done it, but next year I hope we can build another solar dehydrator so I can dry more herbs at one time!

I then created three tinctures: a clear mind remedy to improve memory, alertness, energy, and reduce stress; a headache relief remedy – self explanatory; and a digestive aid to help with cold symptoms and colic.

What herbs did I use in my remedies? Here is a list of the plants that grew well in my garden this summer (not including other cooking herbs and veggies): calendula, chamomile, yarrow, lavender, rosemary, valerian, comfrey, lemon balm, thyme, echinacea, horehound, anise hyssop, sage, basil, and oregano.

I already have fresh ideas for remedies I want to make next year, but until I know how well my remedies will sell this season, I don’t want to get too excited; I still have to think about adjusting to having four kids next year!